Hi Karen. I’m shaking my fist for you. I know exactly how you feel. When I was at that point, I was so angry, crying and hating this damn disease. I finally just surrendered. I don’t mean that I gave up. I just stopped fighting and let go of my attachments to ideal outcomes. I simply starting accepting the present moment, knowing it’s all part of the divine plan. Doesn’t mean I liked it any better, just quit the fighting and focused on healing. I realized I’d probably never have that carefree life I’d had in the past and that had to be OK. Again, I found my way to gratitude. Grateful it was me and not my mom, daughter, sister or anyone else in my family. There are huge lessons in suffering. Better me than those I love. I believe that beautiful gold light of God somehow brings us back to our healing place. We all do the best we can. I too went to God and the light for acceptance, love, humility and healing. My prayers are with you. I see the light flowing through your veins and I send you love – pure and unconditional. You remain in my highest thoughts of love, peace and healing. Thank you for sharing & I look forward to our next chat.