I think all of us know going through cancer treatments isn’t easy, yet we do the best we can. We prop ourselves an awful lot. We do this for our loved ones and others and also, for ourselves. We want to be positive, stay motivated and we want others to see us this way.
But there are those times when it just gets too overwhelming. It can be the treatments that wear us down. We might get bad news, like the treatments aren’t working or they’re not as effective as they hoped. For me, the breaking point came when I was told I had recurrence. These situations are devastating.
I get a lot of calls and emails from people in these situations. These are people, like me, who originally were very hopeful and had a positive outlook going into treatment.
Now they are simply overwhelmed, distraught and depressed – wanting to know how to deal with it all.
I find most of us try to suppress the grief, anger and all the other negative emotions we’re feeling. We keep struggling – pushing all this down while we’re trying to figure out how to bring back that positive energy, when everything seems so hopeless.
This internal struggle has to stop. There is a time for everything.
If things are that bad for you now and you just can’t pull yourself out of this funk, then guess what? It’s time for “The Pity Party”.
Now don’t get me wrong… this is not a party you invite others to attend. This is a pity party just for you and no one else. This is a time for you to release and let go of all those awful feelings you are carrying inside.
When I had my pity party, I let it all out. I yelled, I screamed, I cried, I felt sorry for myself, I threw things, I curled up in a ball like a baby sobbing, I saw myself as just some meaningless memory, I listened to depressing heart-wrenching music and I let all my darkest thoughts come to the surface.
I was completely self-indulgent. It was awful and pathetic. I was pathetic.
But you know what, after I had my pity party, I actually felt pretty good. I felt light and free.
I wasn’t carrying those emotions with me anymore. I didn’t have to suppress them because they were gone. I let them all out. I freed them. What was left was surprisingly authentic.
It was me without all the baggage. Once I released all that, it was pretty easy to get back on track and back to my positive outlook.
That’s whole point of the Pity Party. It’s not about managing our despair or coping with our negative emotions — the Pity Party is about releasing them and letting go of them once and for all so that we can return to our normal frame of mind.